i just dont know what im doing anymore

04May07

satu hari. ga lagi2 ngalamin such a tough worse day ever like that.
oooohh gooooddd!! udh bt enough, trus hrs mnrima ke-bt-an n kekesalan boyfriend of mine jg. GOOOODD!!!! i just dont know what im doing anymore, what role should i play. bingung aj ad di tgh2.
who should i choose?

Do I attract you?
Do I repulse you with my queasy smile?
Am I too dirty?
Am I too flirty?
Do I like what you like?

I could be wholesome
I could be loathsome
I guess Im a little bit shy
Why dont you like me?
Why dont you like me without making me try?

I try to be like Grace Kelly
But all her looks were too sad
So I try a little Freddie
Ive gone identity mad!

I could be brown
I could be blue
I could be violet sky
I could be hurtful
I could be purple
I could be anything you like
Gotta be green
Gotta be mean
Gotta be everything more
Why dont you like me?
Why dont you like me?
Why dont you walk out the door!

How can I help it
How can I help it
How can I help what you think?
Hello my baby
Hello my baby
Putting my life on the brink
Why dont yo like me

Why dont you like me
Why dont you like yourself?
Should I bend over?
Should I look older just to be put on the shelf?

I try to be like Grace Kelly
But all her looks were too sad
So I try a little Freddie
Ive gone identity mad!

I could be brown
I could be blue
I could be violet sky
I could be hurtful
I could be purple
I could be anything you like
Gotta be green
Gotta be mean
Gotta be everything more
Why dont you like me?
Why dont you like me?
Why dont you walk out the door!

Say what you want to satisfy yourself
But you only want what everybody else says you should want

(mika-grace kelly)

pertama krn kontek,
critanya mlmnya gue pergi staunan -yg pertama dan skalinya dlm idup gue itu- then mlmnya gue rada bengek huhuh..batuk2 n sakit abis, shrsnya gue brada di slh 1 rmh tman buat ngrjain kontek, blm lg penyakit kluar mlm, kembung kentut2, jlek abis.
*gue rs anggota lain sbel ma gw n panji krn dpikir mlepas tanggung jwb bgitu aj..tp gmn..itu staunan prtama gue..heheheh *egois* hehehe..maklum..* yaa..mlm2 ksana jg tnp panji yg mau mngantarkan=ga mungkin. kndaraan pn tak pny, angkot pn tak ada. *kasiaaannn…hehehe*

bsknya 5.30am bgn kepagian, trus masuk kontek jam 7.30. pas mo msk, krn takut bila dikelas tp yg lain blm dtg dan berakhir prsntasi b2 doang, si panji ogah2an n lgsg narik gw kluar kls, gw pun ogah2n n meng-iya-kan jg. gue nunggu di bwh, dpn oktagon. trus 7.45 blm jg dtg lalu kami pkir yg lain g msk *krn lbh dr stgh 8 biasanya kontek g blh msk*..trus antara cbt, ga, cbt, ga. smp berkali2 org nanya knp kt ga msk, BORIING! akhirnya kt cbt n brencana mo bli pls -krn ga pny pls- buat sms the rest member of the group, ud jauh2, abangnya blm bk. trus bt, bngung.
sampailah di kosan panji, di dpn pintunya, dadar -slh 1 anggota- sms, “nggi,dmn? gue ud dkls.” gw liat jamnya, dikirim 6.41. GOD!. lemas. tp guenya ud smp di kosan si panji. MY DEAR GOD. trus gue desperado. bingung maaak.
-detail..detail..detail..-

KONTEK=HELL
slalu..bgitu jg dgn presentasi UTS.

kilas kjdan…
bgn ngantuk2..yani ngantuk..panji mulai kesal *smbl ngotak ngatik komp ngerjain film*sendirian. gue psg, yani psg, panji kesal. ponco sudah terlelap.
gue ktdran..tngh mlm bgn,smua tdr, sepi…clingak clinguk*krik..krik..*gelap pula *takut* smua tdr, gue takut..lari ke ruang tengah..*brusaha bgnin panji..g bgn* smua terglepar. yani menyusul gw,krn trnyata ga tdr. trs kami bngung akan bahan presentasi, pusing2 n akhirnya..*kuncluk..kucluk..* gue + yani, di malam sunyi, deadline jam 4.00 msh blm jd apa2..kt memutuskan untk membuat powerpoint jadi2an..asal2an jadi..HANYA BERDUA!!! trus nyusul si panji dtg ,aga membantu lah…
trus ke kampus belom mandi, hny mandi seadanya..ternyata g dpt giliran hr itu..

pas gilirannya..hmpfh!..garing…

kynya ini KUTUKAN KONTEK
I’M CURSED…

kedua krn 3d,
then panji tdr…gue main internet,bengong n mikirin nasib presentasi kontek -krn kami ud bt jadi mls kmn2 lg-jd ga kul 3d…gue bosen..tmbh bt. trus jam 12.00, gue bngunin panji krn tb2 kepikiran absen 3d.
pertama:bgn, tdr lg…ga bgn
kedua: bgn, tdr lg..blm jg bgn
ketiga smbl aga ksel: panji bgn, ky HULK marah2.

gue didiemin..di-bt-in. *mah, slh apa anakmu ini?.

pergilah ke kampus.
panji mrh2, mukanya ga enak, gue -like usual- berusaha menghibur2 getir. tp ttp mrh. UUOOOGGHH! beli pls, knowing jumat gada PSRD..PSSR *bs ti2p absen, gue lgsg berpikiran utk PULANG ke JAKARTA..penaaattt…

smp kelas, ngliat kawat2 ud dikump, smuanya dijaja ud ky brg dagangan, gue..tmbh lemes. bt. ksel. smuamuamuaaaanyaa.
trus ditambah lagi tau klo ngump minggu dpn dikurangin 50%.
GUE BELOMAAAANNN!!!

trus panji mukanya masih ksel. setres. gue..bngung…mo ngs ditempat rasanya. kojel2 dilantai klo bs.
mlihat skitar, tak ada 1 org pn *yg td di grup itu*
gw ud ky anak ilang tmbh bt. tak ada org utk mengadu…*dangdut abis* hehehe

lalu, olahraga..
gue br tau klo hari itu TES LARI..GOOOODDD!!.

*lari terengah2…

si itu ksel, si ini blg gn, gw mikir gt, si itu gmn..aaargggh! pusing. ksel2an..bt2an..idup yaaa..idup.. maaf ya tak dtg pdhl hr prsntasi. maaf jg krn g bantu ngrjain powerpoint.

ga nyalahin siapa2..gue rasa pd posisinya masing2, smua org pny alasan ko..dan smua yg dialamin di hr KAMIS najis itu menjadikan hr gue, panji, BAD or even WORSE day ever.

maap yaa..huhuhuhuh…

*menyesal*

sng bgt smp dirumah. hohoho.
such a bad day.

NIIISSS!! help.

i hope they knew me better.

gw smp berfikir, mungkin pndh ke itb adlh pilihan buruk.huhuhuhu…ngaco ah.

ah sudahlah….

oya, CRITA 1 TAUNAN..

plg kuliah, pergi ke IP dgn motor butut itu -yg rantainya lepas2 mulu,dan hny mampu melaju skls becak dan bensin yg sewaktu2 bs abis-. tp sampe jg dsana.

rencananya kt mo beli j.co buat kue nya trs bli lilin. trus gw mo bli hadiah. akhrnya ke multi toys. ud bli smua, trus plg.

sblm jam 12.00, nykp bkpnya panji dtg berkunjung bgitu pula ori dan kawan2.

jam 12.00, gue ktdrn trus dibgnin ga mau2. hohohoho. kita tiup lilin diatas j.co. then another surprise he gave me a ring (aaaa beban berat) -yg gue gatau kpn itu belinya coba- sm boneka chewbacca kecil yg gepeng.

mlm rabu,2 mei 2007
bingung mo makan dmn. uang pas pasan.
huhuh..bersama motor butut n baju biasa2 aja. pergilah kita ke kartika sari. makan. heheh. dimana pun, yg ptg kn brg..makanya namanya staunan..hehe.
YEEEIY! akhirnya gue smp jg 1 taun
NIIIISSS…bs kn gw jadian smp staun..hohohoh..
ya bgitulah….hehehe

hehehehe…

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